The Remains of the Day

Hello 29

2009-09-06T12:07:31Z

I was sixteen days old that the eight-year war between Iran and Iraq started; now I am 29 and the coup's government has cancelled all public ceremonies, religious and non-religious, afraid of people's gatherings. And there were a lot of hopes and fears between these years...
I have a first-hand experience on war, on death, on ideology, on living on coupons, on industry development, on elections, on press freedom, on suppressing the press, on art for good, on art for art, on earthquakes, on cooperation for reconstructing, on love, on social activism, on making change and being changed, on being arrested and interrogated, on living abroad, on traveling, on depression, on coup d'état. I have lived a lot in these years; what is better than it?

I am back

2007-10-15T15:40:02Z

I am back to the library after a short break—eating a sandwich, drinking some hot chocolate, and looking the undergraduate students gathering, laughing, arguing—to cheer up. But I am still not happy. Not happy (and strong) enough to concentrate on my studying. I can see that I am completely fragile and going to break down by a breeze…

Yes: I know it is not easy to study some theoretical course abroad, in a language that I could not express myself explicitly; I know I am getting use to study hard; I know I am here to learn as much as I can and I should not lose my track; I know; I know; but still do not have good feelings, do not have self confidence… I am not the one I used to be: why I have become so much unsocial here in London?

Pressure

2007-01-28T06:49:28Z

Three Iranian Women's Rights Activists Arrested.

Tala't Taghinia, Mansoureh Shojaie, and Farnaz Seify, women's rights activists, journalists, and members of the Women's Cultural Center, were arrested at Imam Khomeini Airport in Tehran, while trying to exist the country to attend a journalism training in New Delhi India. After their arrest, security forces escorted the three activists to their homes, where their personal affects, such as their books, computers and computer cases, were searched and seized. After a search of their homes, these three activists were transferred to Evin Prison, 209th Ward.

I have a dream

2006-12-14T00:36:48Z

It's 4 AM, here, in Tehran and I can't go to bed.

I'm thinking about our city council's election—which is going to be held on Friday—and am trying to estimate how many people would go to the polls. Hmm… Why is it important to me? Just think that more participation may improve the situation of Iranian reformists as the number of votes for conservatives has been remained constant through the years.

But this is not all that makes me sleepless. My Persian weblog is blocked for the third time in the last 6 months. I've established new domain addresses twice, but all three are now blocked by the authorities. Although I'm a journalist, I write my personal notes and concerns—from family to society, from poetry to cinema—on my blog and I don't know why they are against it. Why should I be censored?

Well, I'm also thinking about the gathering of Holocaust deniers in Tehran and I simply compare the whole seminar and Ahmadinejad's guests with those of our last president, Khatami. Can you tell Pope from a former Ku Klux Klan leader?

I have a dream, but if only I could sleep…

PS. my blog on RSF.

Brainwashing

2006-09-02T11:00:24Z

I watch Friends TV series these days. Although I hate that laughing sound scripted on some scenes, I like the overall sitcom. It makes me familiar to American society. Well, in season 3, there is an episode which Pete, Monica’s millionaire boyfriend, wants to be an ultimate fighting champion. And here is one of the dialogues:

Ross [Monica’s brother]: How long until Pete’s fight?
Monica: About 5 minutes. They’re interviewing his opponent. Apparently, he trains by going to Iran and pulling the arms off thieves.

Hehe! I wonder if there were (are) any complaints about this dialogue anytime… How can they lie in a way that it’s a fact? And you find yourself so weak to mediate this real fact: Pulling off the arms never happened here, in Iran; never.

Kolakchaal

2006-08-21T21:59:44Z

It was completely dark when we started to climb Kolakchaal at 4 am. I was some how sleepy and unconscious at first but after feeling the cool gentle breeze on my face’s skin, I fell into a nice dawn-dreaming!
After a while, light comes up steadily. And there was a wow-like light on Tehran…
I love this city. No matter it’s crowded, polluted and full of traffic jams. No matter it’s dirty, has ugly buildings and bumpy streets. It’s beautiful specially when you look at it from the northern mountains.

How much?

2006-08-20T07:34:20Z

It never happened to me before: crying for not having a chance to talk to one of my best friends. I just think about her, for more than a month. I’m some how nervous for her risky decisions. Yet, she is happy and healthy in a pretty good European country.
And now, I’m listening to Mark Knopfler’s Shangri-La which she bought me about two years ago. Hmm, she is happy and I have to be happy for her. I can’t call her and if I could, it wouldn’t take the place of her smile…

Immigrating to other countries (so-called first world!) for searching better life opportunities, it’s the road Iranians, especially young generation is driving on. Is it the best road? Why aren’t other roads parallel?
Everybody pays, he sings. He doesn’t know how much. Neither do I.

Parastoo is planning

2006-08-19T16:37:38Z

It’s a kind of scary situation: I am investing on a thing that I am not sure about the result at all. After some months of being disappointed in my job as a journalist –because of many things-, I tried to find something enthusiastic and then I decided to study more on journalism.
Although I used to be a very good student at high school, it turned to be a “not bad” student at university. And now, this kind of non-academic, some activist person want to be a good post graduate student in another country in another language. Wow! How could it work?

Hey!

2006-08-04T13:58:19Z

It’s 5 pm and I did nothing today. It’s shameful. Anyway, I feel like... like… after a couple months out of schedule, coming back to the real tough life. I will rock my world!

At Five in the Afternoon

2006-06-12T15:21:43Z

lady sun: "Women participating in the demonstration were beaten and arrested an hour ago. I just read in this blog and this one that the demonstration was brutally suppressed without even being started.
This blog says that Jila Bani Yaghoub, an Iranian prominent journalist was handcuffed and arrested.
I have no news about my friends. I should go to school now. I'll try to update more as soon as I get any news. Damn it...

*Update: One of my friends who was in an office near Hafte Tir square told me in yahoo messenger that there were a lot of policewomen with teargas. They had also red sprays to put on women, so that they would be recognized in case of escaping. She also said that the event was badly organized and not a single location in the big square was selected from before. So people were scattered in different parts of the square. She said some people were taken to jail and some people were taken to hospitals."

see bbc

Touch the new life

2006-06-10T08:21:20Z

It can’t be imagined but my favorite list of music is almost the same as a girl’s list comes from Uganda.
It can’t be imagined but I’m sharing my fears on getting arrested on the way back home with 2 other journalists come from Zimbabwe.
It can’t be imagined but now I know there is at least one person in Colombia who thinks the same as me on religion.
Here, in Kalmar. A small southern town in Sweden, it’s not a big deal to sit down and write about your feelings: almost everywhere in almost every time is quiet and clean. Green, is the main color of the city and there is not a kind of shocking news.
And this is Fojo, which made this opportunity for a group ofsome 20 journalists from various countries and continents to touch the life, which you couldn’t even imagine.

You, Zombies*

2006-05-06T16:57:30Z

Where are people who are against a military attack on Iran? Is there anyone left? People who believes that no war can contribute to the establishment of liberty and democracy in Iran –what I do believe in?
Britain prime minister has changed his foreign secretary because of not believing in war against Iran but it seems lady Beckett, the new one and the first woman to hold one of the "big three" political posts, believes in war.
How could I conquer my feminist opinion: women are against war, pro peace? After Rice, we see another mother of war in the world?

*Zombie is the name of a popular song by Cranberries, a famous Irish pop-rock band, which I really love. Today –once again- I saw their videos and enjoyed a lot. You can download the Zombie from here and find the lyrics from here:

Another head hangs lowly, Child is slowly taken. And the violence caused such silence, Who are we mistaken? But you see, it's not me, it's not my family. In your head, in your head they are fighting, With their tanks and their bombs, And their bombs and their guns. In your head, in your head, they are crying... In your head, in your head, Zombie, zombie, zombie, Hey, hey, hey. What's in your head, In your head, Zombie, zombie, zombie?

Emotion

2006-05-03T16:35:09Z

Hello

Playground school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
Has no one told you she´s not breathing?
Hello, I am your mind giving you
Someone to talk to
Hello

If I smile and don´t believe
Soon I know I´ll wake from this dream
Don´t try to fix me, I´m not broken
Hello, I'm the lie, living for you so you can hide
Don´t cry

Suddenly I know I´m not sleeping
Hello, I´m still here
All that´s left of yesterday

*Evanescence

Cry virtually

2006-04-09T09:59:40Z

I can’t write -and think.
Not about the story of Iran and its Atomic energy;
Not about myself, nor my passions;
Not even about my struggle to be more optimistic.
What a blue, useless and clingy girl I am.

Rainy day, not romantic one

2006-03-29T02:01:03Z

It was a rainy day; very rainy in fact, for a friend of mine. As he passed the street, his cell phone slipped out of his pocket right through the gaps on the metal plate -which covers the sewage- and straight into the canal itself. There was nothing he could do, not even informing the telecommunication company to block the SIM. It is Norouz; and everything is closed till Monday. But it isn't bad after all. He would buy a better cell phone.

P.S. Our plan to go to cinema, turned out to be a disaster as well. All cinemas were closed today as tomorrow is an official day of mourning in Iran, a holiday! It is the day prophet Mohammad passed away nearly 1400 years ago.